That was definitely not how it was for me. I’m not talking about the usual terrifying symptoms (heartburn, nausea, nausea, exhaustion, bathroom issues etc) although I got all of them by the bucket load.
I’m talking about my sense of self. As soon as I started showing, I stopped feeling like me. It’s not like I had a supermodel body before (at all) but i hated seeing myself change beyond my control.
I became obsessed with whether or not people could tell whether I was pregnant. I felt like everyone was watching me. I didn’t feel human anymore. I felt like pregnant Lauren was a different person to normal Lauren.
I kept trying to explain to people how I was feeling but nobody understood. The entire time I felt like people talked to the bump and not to me.
I can offer no solution to this. I didn’t find a way to make myself feel better. The bigger I got, the more I felt defined by being pregnant. I was nothing more than a host for someone else.
Until the day I got to see my little girl. I know it’s an overused cliche, but she has made all of it worth it. I genuinely struggle to remember how unhappy I was. I have a new, much better identity now. I’m a mum and that is so much better. 😊